The Olympic Committee is in the process of electing a host city for the 2012 Olympic Games. Of course every city wants to host the Olympics because of the wonderful things they can do for a cities economy. First of all the city has to hire bomb inspectors and hundreds of other people walking around trying to look officials while they don’t understand a word coming out of anyone’s mouth. “Look at me! I have a bomb and plan to kill thousands of spectators with it” Athletes are known to say in they foreign languages while walking past a highly armed security guard. Athletes from English speaking countries join in the fun as well knowing most security personnel can’t interpret different accents.
The Olympics coming to your city also has great effects on the local population. Nothing brings people together like a common thing to hate and tourists are a great group to hate. You can talk about them all you want while most of them won’t be able to understand you, and you can’t hate them enough to try to drive them out since they are spending money at local businesses. Sure you hate tourists and everything about them but you don’t hate that they’ve tripled your monthly profits.
And that brings me to another reason to host the Olympics: you can make an insane amount of money. There are just more people in a city and they are all spending things. If you’re a restaurant you’re set. Japanese people have to eat food too, as far as I know. There is a lot of money to be made when people are forced to live in your city in order to compete in the Olympics. Don’t want to pay 12 dollars for a cheeseburger? Then you don’t have to compete for that gold medal. Go home and tell all your countrymen that they have no victory to celebrate because you were too cheap to fork up some extra cash for lunch.
With all these factors considered I have decided that I want to host the Olympics. Sure having the games here in my home town would be great but I think I can make a lot more money if I have them hosted at my house.